Marriage between two individuals united their families and involved the whole community. Parents, particularly fathers, took an active part in selecting partners for their children. There was often a long period of betrothal; wedding celebrations were usually elaborate and might last a week or more.
The choice of a marriage partner
Parents usually chose a suitable partner
Genesis 38:6 See also Genesis 24:2–4, Genesis 21:21 Occasionally mothers made the wedding arrangements.
Now Judah acquired a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.
The wishes of the couple
Genesis 24:57–58 Rebekah is consulted about her proposed marriage to Isaac. See also Genesis 34:4, Genesis 34:8–9; Judges 14:2; 1 Samuel 18:20
So they said, “We will call the girl and ask her opinion.” They called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she replied.
The bride-price
Daughters were ``given'' by their fathers
Genesis 29:28; Exodus 2:21; 1 Samuel 18:21
Fathers often received payment
Genesis 29:18, Genesis 34:12 See also Genesis 29:30; Exodus 22:16–17; Deuteronomy 22:28–29; 1 Samuel 18:17, 1 Samuel 18:27
Since Jacob loved Rachel, he answered, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.”
Demand a high dowry and an expensive gift, and I will give you whatever you ask. Only give me the girl as my wife!”
Daughters were given as a reward
Judges 1:12–13 parallel Joshua 15:16–17 See also 1 Samuel 18:25
And Caleb said, “To the man who strikes down Kiriath-sepher and captures it, I will give my daughter Acsah in marriage.” So Othniel son of Caleb’s younger brother Kenaz captured the city, and Caleb gave his daughter Acsah to him in marriage.
The exchange of wedding gifts
Gifts from the bridegroom's family
Gifts from the bride's father
Servants given to the bride as a dowry: Genesis 24:59, Genesis 29:24, Genesis 29:29; Judges 1:14–15 parallel Joshua 15:18–19; 1 Kings 9:16
The period of betrothal
Betrothal followed payment of the bride-price
2 Samuel 3:14 See also Genesis 29:19–20 Jacob worked for Laban during his period of betrothal to Rachel.
Then David sent messengers to say to Ish-bosheth son of Saul, “Give me back my wife, Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred Philistine foreskins.”
A betrothed couple were regarded as husband and wife
Genesis 19:14; Deuteronomy 22:23–24 Unfaithfulness during the period of betrothal is treated as adultery; Matthew 1:18–20 Divorce is required to break a betrothal.
Sexual relationships took place only after the wedding
Genesis 29:21 Joel 1:8; Luke 1:27; Matthew 1:25; 1 Corinthians 7:36–38
Finally Jacob said to Laban, “Grant me my wife, for my time is complete, and I want to sleep with her.”
Soldiers and marriage
Deuteronomy 20:7 Engaged soldiers were to marry before going into battle; Deuteronomy 24:5 Recently married soldiers were exempted from military service for a year.
The wedding celebrations
The bride wore an elaborate dress and jewellery
Ezekiel 16:9–13 An allegorical description of God dressing Jerusalem as a bride. See also Psalm 45:13; Isaiah 61:10; Jeremiah 2:32; Revelation 21:2
Then I bathed you with water, rinsed off your blood, and anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with jewelry, and I put bracelets on your wrists and a chain around your neck. I put a ring in your nose, earrings on your ears, and a beautiful crown upon your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was made of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour, honey, and oil. You became very beautiful and rose to be queen.
Attendants on the bride and groom
Psalm 45:14; John 3:29 See also Judges 14:11, Judges 14:20; Matthew 9:15 parallels Mark 2:19, Luke 5:34; Matthew 25:1–10
In colorful garments she is led to the king; her virgin companions are brought before you.
The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom stands and listens for him, and is overjoyed to hear the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.
The wedding banquet
Genesis 29:22; Judges 14:10; Matthew 22:2; Revelation 19:9
Wedding festivities
Psalm 78:63; Isaiah 62:5; Jeremiah 7:34, Jeremiah 33:11
The invitation to a wedding
Matthew 22:3–4 Invited guests were called when the feast was ready.; Matthew 22:5–7; Luke 14:18–21; Matthew 22:11–12 Guests were expected to dress appropriately.
Related themes
Dictionary of Bible Themes © 1999 Martin Manser, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0, via Bible Aquifer. Formatted for this site, with Scripture from the Berean Standard Bible.