Loneliness

God intends human beings to live together in harmony and to value one another, but Scripture recognises many reasons for individuals to feel unwanted and isolated.

Loneliness is not part of God's plan for human beings

Genesis 2:18 See also Psalm 68:5–6; Isaiah 49:15

The LORD God also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make for him a suitable helper.”

God is with his people at all times and in all circumstances

Isaiah 41:10 See also Deuteronomy 31:8; Joshua 1:9; Psalm 27:10; Isaiah 43:2; Matthew 28:20; John 14:18; Hebrews 13:5–6

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Reasons why people may experience loneliness

Sin

Isaiah 59:2 See also Genesis 4:10–12; 1 Samuel 28:5–6; Psalm 81:11–12; Isaiah 64:7; Hosea 5:6; Ephesians 4:18

But your iniquities have built barriers between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He does not hear.

Remorse

Matthew 27:4–5 See also 1 Chronicles 21:17; Matthew 26:75

“I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,” he said. “What is that to us?” they replied. “You bear the responsibility.” So Judas threw the silver into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Lack of friends

Psalm 142:4 See also John 5:7, John 14:18

Look to my right and see; no one attends to me. There is no refuge for me; no one cares for my soul.

Social ostracism

John 4:9 A moral outcast (see John 4:18), she was collecting water at the hottest part of the day, when she could do so alone. See also Luke 19:7 A Jew who worked for the Roman occupying power was considered a traitor.

“You are a Jew,” said the woman. “How can You ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Public shame

John 8:3 See also Mark 15:29–32

The scribes and Pharisees, however, brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before them

Desertion

2 Timothy 4:16 See also Psalm 38:11, Psalm 88:18

At my first defense, no one stood with me, but everyone deserted me. May it not be charged against them.

Loss of family

Luke 7:12 See also Ruth 1:3–5; 2 Samuel 18:33; 2 Kings 4:1; Job 1:20–21; Psalm 27:10; Matthew 2:17–18; Jeremiah 31:15; 1 Timothy 5:5

As He approached the town gate, He saw a dead man being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her.

Loss of identity

Luke 8:27 parallel Mark 5:2–3 See also Luke 8:30 parallel Mark 5:9

When Jesus stepped ashore, He was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothing or lived in a house, but he stayed in the tombs.

Discontent

Ecclesiastes 4:8 See also Ecclesiastes 2:10–11, Ecclesiastes 2:18; Hebrews 13:5–6

There is a man all alone, without even a son or brother. And though there is no end to his labor, his eyes are still not content with his wealth: “For whom do I toil and bereave my soul of enjoyment?” This too is futile — a miserable task.

Disability

And a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those entering the temple courts.

Disease

Luke 17:12 Lepers were forbidden to mix with those not affected. See also Leviticus 13:4; Numbers 5:1–3; 2 Kings 7:3; 2 Chronicles 26:21

As He entered one of the villages, He was met by ten lepers. They stood at a distance

Insomnia

Psalm 102:7 See also Job 7:4; Daniel 6:18

I lie awake; I am like a lone bird on a housetop.

Depression

1 Kings 19:4 See also Deuteronomy 33:27; Job 7:16; Psalm 43:5, Psalm 73:16–17; Jeremiah 15:10; Micah 7:1

while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”

Poverty

Proverbs 19:7 See also 1 Kings 17:12; Proverbs 19:4; Luke 15:14–16

All the brothers of a poor man hate him — how much more do his friends avoid him! He may pursue them with pleading, but they are nowhere to be found.

Old age

Psalm 71:9 See also 2 Samuel 19:34–35

Do not discard me in my old age; do not forsake me when my strength fails.

Dying and the approach of death

Psalm 23:4 See also Psalm 18:4–6; Romans 8:38–39

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Loneliness experienced as a consequence of God's calling

God's setting apart for service

1 Kings 19:10 See also Judges 6:14–15; Jeremiah 1:5, Jeremiah 4:18–19, Jeremiah 15:16–17

“I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of Hosts,” he replied, “but the Israelites have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I am the only one left, and they are seeking my life as well.”

Leadership

Mark 10:32 See also Exodus 24:1–2; Joshua 1:6–7; Matthew 20:17–19

As they were going up the road to Jerusalem, Jesus was walking ahead of them. The disciples were amazed, but those who followed were afraid. Again Jesus took the Twelve aside and began to tell them what was going to happen to Him:

Responsibility

Numbers 11:14 See also Exodus 18:17–18; 2 Corinthians 11:28

I cannot carry all these people by myself; it is too burdensome for me.

Jesus Christ experienced loneliness

Matthew 27:46 parallel Mark 15:33–34 See also Psalm 22:1–2; Matthew 4:1–2 parallel Luke 4:1–2; Matthew 14:23; Luke 4:28–30; John 6:67, John 16:32

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Positive aspects of loneliness

Solitude provides an opportunity for communion with God

Matthew 6:6 See also Exodus 3:1–2, Exodus 33:9; 2 Kings 4:32–33; Matthew 26:39; Mark 1:35, Mark 6:45–46; Revelation 1:9

But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Engaging in spiritual warfare

Genesis 32:24

So Jacob was left all alone, and there a man wrestled with him until daybreak.

The opportunity for spiritual experiences away from the crowd

Mark 9:2 See also Daniel 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:2–4

After six days Jesus took with Him Peter, James, and John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. There He was transfigured before them.

Solitude as rest from the turmoil of everyday life

Mark 6:31–32 See also Matthew 11:28

And He said to them, “Come with Me privately to a solitary place, and let us rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. So they went away in a boat by themselves to a solitary place.